Deviation Actions
Literature Text
The wind is a pretty keening hiss
Dry seeds rattle in a tight bud-shell
And from the needle-stems unwind
The fairest blossoms of their kind
Too sweet a red to paint the halls of hell
Lifting my feet out of dry grass
Earthbound, leap free, let me fall away
Through the velvet and into night
The silver flames will hold me tight
To look back up into moonbeams painting the bay
Borne on in a silver veil of tears
Sleeping, wrapped in sheets of poppy-haze
To short-lived stars that flare and fight
To breach the shadowed bowl of night
Surrendered to the dark before the days
Red and green stars standing clear
Upon shining columns perched in the sea
Miles and miles down into the deep
Light to make a blind man weep
Light to make these demons turn and flee
Clouded eyes reflected back
Questioning the end of this long night
And whether the sun will come around
To bring the day to this dead ground
And whether we shall last to see the light
Dull eyes gazing into black
Never to smile and never to weep
Tinted milky with dawn's first ray
But they will never see this day
Encased in the needle's all-consuming sleep
This is another example of me stringing together several relatively mundane occurrences with some mystique and artistic license to make something that sounds meaningful. I wanted to fit quite a few things into it, and I'm not sure if it's too much. Also, I tried a new rhyming pattern, which seems to me a bit like a limerick, only more serious.
Does it work?